This isn't Burger King. You can't always have things your way.

Sun, 10 Sep 2006 04:20:35 GMT

x_dramatical
Friends only. Add me...or I'll add you...whichever.

Sun, 10 Sep 2006 03:55:57 GMT

I've had this LJ since my freshman year of high school. I hate change, but I think it's time...

Sat, 09 Sep 2006 00:28:42 GMT

More about earlier. I don't even know where to begin.

Auditions for "Every Man" were today, and I went in there pretty confident that I'd get a decent role. The auditions came to a halt when we started discussing the characters, so only a few people got to read. I jumped right in there and read for the titled character. I figured "why not? I've got as good a shot as anybody." And so, I was wrong. Sam told me in English that SOMEGIRLIDESPISE had already gotten cast as the lead when auditions haven't come to a close yet. Mrs. Schlink told her she had the part right in front of Chad and Sam, who were also looking to audition for the part.

That's it. I'm done. I don't even care anymore. This obviously isn't as "professional" as Schlink makes it out to be. She cast out this whole show in her head, without even listening to her actors.

Just you watch, I'll be "doctor" who recites that one short monologue at the end of the show. If that becomes the case, I will be sure to leave this "actor's studio" class and find shows elsewhere.

I'm not going to let my self confidence fall again. I know I'm not a "bad actor" like I thought I was last year. It's Mrs. Schlink that still sees me as the same girl who accidently showed up to years ago and went along with everything. Theatre is now my passion, and if she can't see that, than I obviously don't belong in her class anymore.

I'll keep you updated on this.

Fri, 08 Sep 2006 20:05:05 GMT

I'm more furious/upset than I think I've EVER been in my entire life.

I officially hate everything about high school, including theatre.

I need to get out into the real world before I start to feel inadequate again. It happens all the time. I get let down, and I think that I'm not good at anything. So screw high school. I don't even care anymore.

Tue, 05 Sep 2006 18:28:40 GMT

RIP Steve Irwin

=(

He was a crazy one.

Mon, 04 Sep 2006 01:49:05 GMT

Little Miss Sunshine is a MUST SEE movie.

Wow.

School.

Fri, 01 Sep 2006 01:24:05 GMT

I hate school. Yesterday, I came home from school completely furious. And then I just broke down. I can't stand it. I hate everyone there.

We had homeroom for THREE HOURS yesterday. By 9:40 I was about to go insane. Then that stupid assembly.

And as for my classes: Chorus is better than I expected. I'm going to die in Economics, because two people THAT I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE sit right next to each other, and endlessly blabber. Tech Theatre is a rather small class; it's kind of dissapointing. Spanish is going to be awesome, and I'll pass even if I have no idea what's going on, because Chid's the man.

Actor's Studio is going to be AWESOMEEEE. I got my script today for "Every Man," and I'm SOOO excited. I think I want to try out for God, but I'm not sure. Schlink's concept of the whole show is amazing, and I never would have thought of it that way if I had read the play myself.

AP English is definately going to be a challenge, but I have to prove to myself and everyone else that I can do it. It's simple Mandy: Do homework, pass class. Duh. That's always my problem, but I think that this year I'm going to be kicking my ass to get work done.

Web Page is okay. It was pretty funny though, when Latessa realized that the program we needed for the class hadn't been installed. Priceless.

Flag is kind of irritating me. I go home and practice my ass off, and some girls just show up and fool around. I don't know about everybody else on this planet, but when I commit myself to something (non-acedemic may I add) I take it seriously while still having fun. We must have stopped that routine twenty times tonight, and I wasn't too happy about it. God damn freshman that think they're all that.

Blarg.

Wed, 30 Aug 2006 01:00:43 GMT

A few days ago I was pretty sure what I wanted to do for college. Well, now I'm undecided again. I did a search on college board, and a bunch of colleges with Theatre as a major came up that had a 75% acceptance rate. I'm just afraid of shooting for all of those "smart people" colleges, because my grades for the past few years have been horrible due to lack of motivation, and it's not even like my theatre reasume is that impressive that I could pull off going somewhere that doesn't look at my grades.

It's not fair that someone at Fatima (with just as much talent as I) gets more recognition just because everyone else there sucks. I'm happy for her getting that scholarship and everything, but what I mean by this is that maybe I should have stayed at Fatima. At the same time though, staying at Fatima would have held me back. I learned so much more with Mrs. Schlink than Fatima ever could have offered me, and I an a firm believer in that "everything happens for a reason."

I don't want to go to school tommorrow. I just want it all to be over. I should have skipped first grade so that I'd be going to college this year. That's the only thing I regret in my life; not speaking up when I wasn't being challenged.

I need to write my Kindergarten teacher a letter to let her know how amazing she is. Everything I needed to know for life I learned in her class.

I'm just rambling. Ignore me.

Back to school.

Fri, 25 Aug 2006 01:55:54 GMT

I don't want school to start. I just wish I could fast-forward through this whole school year. It's going to kill me, I can already sense it. No matter how hard I try, I'll still hate everyone surrounding me, and I still won't be motivated enough to get those straight A's I haven't seen since the beginning of seventh grade. I know I'm going to have a mental breakdown from being overwhelmed by everything. It's going to happen.

I'm REALLY trying to keep positive, even though I'm wicked pessimistic about everything. I have a feeling that if I somehow pull a lead in the fall play, it will keep me motivated enough to do well. I might, I just might. Cats has really helped me with everything. My confidence on stage has most definately improved, I'm much more comfortable singing, I'm back in shape enough to dance, and I most definately keep my energy level way up even if the rest of the cast seems to be droopy. I'm feeling confident. I can do it. Maybe.

I should have tried out for vocal ensemble. I'm SO DUMB. I chickened out and told myself "No, you won't get in, there's too many sopranos." And then when Boyle needed tenors, I was too afraid to ask her if I could auditon. I dunno. Chorus will be okay I guess.

I hope Economics doesn't suck. If it does, I'll switch into walking or something stupid like that. I don't have a lot of time to do millions of assignments. I had Calouro before, and almost every night we had (at least) a five page packet for homework. I most definately don't have time for that.

See, this is what my week will look like.
Monday: Work.
Tuesday: Flag Practice.
Wednesday: Maybe work, maybe not.
Thursday: Flag Practice.
Friday: Dance Class.
Saturday: Work.
Sunday: Day off.
Not to mention rehersals on top of that during Oct-Nov & Feb-May.

I pretty much know what I want to do for college. I picked three places I'm going to apply to: My crazy "yeah right maybe" college, the college I really like that I'll probably get into, and then the safety school. "Yeah right maybe" is Brown. I mean, the people there may be "stuck up", but they have a gorgeous campus close to home, and an awesome theatre program. The students in the advanced acting classes get to audition for shows at Trinity Rep, and that would be AMAZING. The college I want to go to that I'll probably get into is Hartford. It's small, it has a gorgeous campus, great arts and education programs, and it's not far from home. And well, my safety school is RIC, because I can transfer out of there once I get myself together.

I'm going to do "early descision" or whatever it's called. I just want to know where I'm going so that I'm not so stressed out about it.

I think I'll survive.

Sun, 13 Aug 2006 13:30:06 GMT

Cats is almost over. A few weeks ago I wanted it to be over, but now I wish it would last forever. If I was getting paid for it, I could do this for the rest of my life.

This experience had really made me re-consider shooting for a career in acting. I need to go to more amateur auditions and build up my resume before I apply for equity...which will be an odd day, because I dislike equity actors. For some of them, it's all about getting paid, and they put no heart into their jobs. But me, being on the stage is what keeps me alive, and I'd never perform a half-assed show just because I'd be getting paid anyways.

Farewell land of the magical Jellicles. You shall be dearly missed in my heart.

Oh, how I love the Skimbleshanks scene:

Oh. well, I never was there ever...

This came out pretty good.

The most exciting scene in the show < / sarcasm >.

I got to introduce my little cousin to Old Deuteronomy

These girls fucking rock.

And lastly, le cast.

Sat, 12 Aug 2006 19:32:20 GMT

So I was browsing among old LJ entries, and I came upon these funny moments:

"When I got home my Dad was sitting on the couch watching family guy with a steering wheel cover on his head. "Dad, are you drunk!?" was the first thing I said. But then I remembered, he's always like that." - 9/5/05

"1st I had health. David scared the shit outta me cuz he wrote all of these post it notes that sed "Mandy is sexy" and "Mandy has a nice butt". Kinda made me think a little." - 10/15/04

"Then I came home, and my mom left me here for 3 hours. I talked on the phone with Jake, then I watched Edward Scissorhands with Tim Burton's commentary. Yes, I have no life." - 1/11/05

"At CCD on Monday my cell phone went off during a pro-life lecture, and the dude got really pissed at me. Not to mention the ringtone was Marilyn Manson." - 2/5/05

"Wednesday- Rob found out what BJ stood for." & "I ended up buying this hot pink teddy bear for Jake...when you push the button on its heart, it makes demonic noises." - 2/13/05

"Louie looked at me and said, "We should have goth day just for Mandy."" - 3/3/05

Now I have to leave, but those things I came across made me giggle.

Fri, 04 Aug 2006 16:01:57 GMT

Open iTunes, Winamp or Windows Media Player to answer the following.
Go to your library & Answer

Number of songs: 1417
Sort by song:
First Song: "#1 Crush" - Garbage
Last Song: "Zombie" - The Cranberries

Sort by time:
Shortest song: Boy Meets World Theme Song : 00:24
Longest Song: "Drugs and Kittens, I'll Drink to That" - Mighty Mighty Bosstones : 38:44

Sort by artist:
First Artist: 3 Doors Down
Last Artist: Zox

Sort by album:
First Album: ...And Don't Forget to Breathe - A Static Lullaby
Last Album: Youth - Matisyahu

Search the key word and see how many songs appear:
"Sex": 10
"Death": 52
"Love": 67
"You": 161
"Me": 345
"Drugs": 5
"Hate": 14

Search for your own name, how many?: 1 - Barry Manilow...haha.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Directions:

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if they don't make sense.

Questions:

How are you today?
"She Rides" - Danzig

What about yesterday? How was that?
"So Cold" - Breaking Benjamin

What does the number one person on your top 8 feel about you?
"You're All I've Got Tonight" - The Cars

How is highshool so far?
"Yeah" - Usher feat. Lil Jon and Ludacris

If you had one piece of advice to people what would it be?
'Scentless Apprentice" - Nirvana

What is playing in the background when you are fucking someone?
"Communication Breakdown" - Led Zeppelin

How is your life going so far?
"Bestraffe Mich" - Rammstein

How are you going to die?
"Hey Baby" - No Doubt

You're trying to work out and what song comes on?
"Summertime" - Sublime

Whats your birthday wish?
"Time Is Running Out" - Muse

You tell your best friend that you are in love with them, they respond:
"Float On" - Modest Mouse

Your war yell is:
"Aquarius" - Within Temptation

What song will be played at your funeral?
"Breakdown" - Plain White T's

You walk in on your parents having sex, the first thing you say is:
"Immortal" - Kittie

You walk in on your friends having sex, the first thing you say is:
"The Jetset Life Is Gonna Kill" - My Chemical Romance

Your last words are:
"Fiction ( Dreams In Digital) - Orgy

What do your friends really think about you?
"Photograph" - Nickelback

What does your mom really think about you?
"Highway To Hell" - ACDC

What about your dad?
"Big Yellow Taxi" - The Counting Crows

What is your current theme song?
"Perseverance" - Hatebreed

What do your friends think your theme song should be?
"Will You" - POD

What does that person you have a crush on you really think of you?
"At The Fathomles Depths" - Dissection

What type of men/women do you normally go for?
"Ride" - The Vines

What is the secret to life?
"Untitled" - Neon Blonde

What is the answer to the question of the universe?
"Laffy Taffy" - D4L

Someone asks you what came first, the chicken or the egg, what do you say?
"Get This Party Started" - Pink

What is the best thing about you?
"Dance Dance" - Fall Out Boy

What is the worst thing about you?
"She Bangs" - William Hung

What really turns you on?
"I Never Chose You" - Neuroticfish

What really turns you off?
"Wish" - Nine Inch Nails

Have anything planned for tonight?
"You Know How I Do" - Taking Back Sunday

What do you plan on doing for the rest of your life?
"(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" - The Rolling Stones

What is your graduation song going to be?
"Sweet Transvestite" - The Rocky Horror Picture Show (HAHAHA)

You are at Heavens gates, what does the man at the gate tell you?
"Gimme Some Loving" - Steve Winwood w. Spence Davis

You've just had sex, what do you say to the other person?
"The Perfect Drug" - Nine Inch Nails

Will you get married?
"Iris" - Goo Goo Dolls

Will you have children?
"Swansong For A Raven" - Cradle of Filth

What will your life be like?
"Save Me" - Shinedown

Wed, 26 Jul 2006 04:05:21 GMT

Scratch that entry about Mike I posted awhile ago.

My opinion of him has most definately changed in that last month. Working with him has been enjoyable lately. I mostly realized how much he's needed when he went on vacation and I had to cover all of his shifts.

I realized how sucky all of the other busgirls are compared to Mike and me. I mean, they're my friends and they're nice people, but they're mediocure bussers. When Mike was gone, I would take the entire deck and front by myself, and leave whoever else there was in the back. And even then, I was constantly being asked to do favors for the back waitresses because the other person wasn't around. God knows what those girls do the whole night.

Now I know why he runs around like a chicken with no head. It's because we need someone like that on the floor. And now that he's back, I'm back to being lazy and standing around the back station. He'll probably never see me in action.

Oh, and his personality only conflicts with mine because we are strangely similar; quiet, standoffish, too smart for our own good. Except he's not pathetically lazy like I am.

Tue, 25 Jul 2006 20:17:21 GMT

I haven't updated in awhile. Oh well.

So I guess that Jake and I are friends again. It's weird. He's called and left me messages to hang out, but when I pick up the phone to return his calls, it just doesn't feel right. Now he probably thinks I hate him. I really don't even know what my opinion of him is. I'm still trying to figure it out I guess, and that's why I'm not going along so easily with the whole "friends" thing.

Cats is in two weeks, and I'm petrified. It feels like highschool theatre x10. Nothing is complete, and I feel totally uncomfortable with it. Jellices. Jellicles. I think I want to strangle the next person who says "Jellicle" to me. The dancers did that Jellicle Ball dance dance scene about twenty times at rehersal last night. We got no break, and I thought I was going to collapse on the stage. Now tonight I have an "Act 1 put together" from 7-11pm, which is a little insane if you ask me.

Naomi has been coming around again, mooching, looking for a new place to stay. I can't take her shit anymore. I told her exactly how I felt: "Naomi, look. I am sixteen years old, and I'm sick of having to babysit someone who's 18 and an 'adult.' I have my own things to deal with. I'm trying to make my own life for myself, get an education, go to college. I don't need you and your self-created problems taking up half of my life. I think it's time you helped yourself rather than depending on your fifteen and sixteen year-old friends to help you." And then she hung up, obviously angry. Heather asked her to go have coffee so they could have a chat, and all Naomi talked about was "Matt this and Matt that" when Heather was trying to figure out what was going on in her life; like where she's living and whatnot. So I guess she has no home, no job, no money, steals from Cumby's, and mooches off of Matt. Some life she's making for herself.

Her parents are what aggrivate me the most though. They see their troubled daughter (which they hand picked and adopted) making a mess of her life, and they turn away when shhe comes back for their help. Their excuse is "You're 18, you're a big girl now." No. She is not a "big girl" if her sixteen-year-old former best friend has to be a parent to her. So know what? She can turn out just like the rest of her biological family: a highschool dropout, pregnant at a young age, addicted to drugs, and on section 8 welfare.

Besides that, I'm sort of looking forward to school. I'm really going to apply myself this year, just to prove to myself that I can do it. I have in the past, but I've just gotten lazy or found better things to do.

Oh, and here's my schedule. Let me know if you have any classes with me:
2) Chorus Semester (S1) - Boyle
2) Health/Phys Ed. (S2) - ?
3) Applied Economics Honors - Calouro
4) Tech Theatre - Schlink
5) Spanish III - Chidester
6) Actor's Studio - Schlink
7) AP English - Talbot
8) Web Page Design (S1) - Latessa
8) College Writing (S2) - Ziari

Cats

Thu, 13 Jul 2006 13:25:36 GMT

That is what my costume is going to look like. I am sooooo thrilled.

Click here for the performance schedule
http://members.cox.net/bristoltheatreco/Cats/BTCCATSBoxOffice.htm

Click here to buy tickets
http://www.arttixri.com/performance_info.cfm?PID=973

Sun, 18 Jun 2006 20:02:34 GMT

Working with Mike makes me so angry. You have no idea. Last night I was ranting quite a bit, but that was only half of it.

"Hello Mike. My last name is in the fucking title of the restauraunt. I don't think you should be bossing me around. Bite me." : That's what I wanted to say to him the entire night, but you all know I have no balls. I don't like hurting people's feelings, even if it is a situation that makes me this angry.

The beginning of the night was fine. He was even goofing around a bit, which is rare. Then he spilled water on himself. When Heather ran up to him with a towel, he yelled "Don't touch me!", and it went downhill from there.

It got to be 9:00pm and I wasn't feeling well. I was quite tired due to the fact I had been there since 3:30pm, and I had a headache. We were waiting for tables to leave, so I decided to take some motrin, have some iced coffee in the pantry, and chillax for a moment while I could. A few minutes later Ashley came into the pantry to put away some creamers and things, and she decided to take a break also (because we were waiting). Two seconds later the king comes by and DOUBLE CLAPS in our faces telling us "let's go!".

Excuse me? How about some manners. Maybe if he had said "those two parties just left," I wouldn't be taking offense to it. But NO. He had to clap at ME. His bosses' daughter.

That made me angry and I began ranting to Heather. He walks by. He comes back in a few minutes later and starts yelling at Heather, telling her to stop talking about him behind his back. "HELLO. I AM THE ONE TALKING BEHIND YOUR BACK. YOU DESERVE IT. BITE ME" was what I wanted to say, but again I must say, I have no balls.

I think after that glare I gave him, he realized it was I that was talking, not Heather. Later on in the dining room, he approaches Ashley and I : "Now I'd just like to clear the air here. I'm not trying to be bossy, you shouldn't take offense, I'm just trying to get you guys to be better bus people. I'm a really nice guy, you shouldn't hate me. If you do...well. Oh well."

"Know what. I do take offense. The both of us should. Ashley and I have been working this dining room all winter long, and now you come back from college and expect to be king of it all? NO. You are not the most amazing busboy in the world. You are not friendly with your co-workers. You don't do your sidework correctly. AND you treat you bosses' daughter like the worms in the dirt beneath you feet. Don't boss Ashley and I around. If anything, I should be telling you what to do. I've known how to bus tables since I was thirteen years old. I chose not to bus tables and stick to the kitchen because I'm not a people person. Finally I come out here, all of the waitresses love me, I'm being personable, and working hard, and you think you can have control and tell me what to do? You are intimidating. It's difficult for me to say no to someone who is a 19 year old male. I hate working with you. Your personality conflicts with mine. And you disrupt the relaxed atmosphere in the dining room by running around like a chicken with no head looking for things to do. Relax. Take a break. Be nice. Do your sidework. Maybe we'd get along. Have a nice night."
But again, I have no balls.

Tue, 13 Jun 2006 12:02:16 GMT

Life has been going great for me since I've last updated. The Cats rehersals are awesome. Work has been getting interesting. And, I've got a lovely new boyfriend named Christopher. Tee hee hee.

This summer is going to rawk.

Tue, 23 May 2006 20:17:48 GMT

I got a role in Cats.

Sun, 21 May 2006 13:33:56 GMT

Prom was amazing.

Tue, 09 May 2006 20:01:12 GMT

Obviously I haven't written in my LJ for quite some time. I've been busy with Guys & Dolls, which is finally over. I miss it, actually.

As for prom, Chris flaked on me. So I'm going with Chad, and I think it's going to be much more fun that way. The limos were much too expensive, so this year we're just going to hop into my mom's van/Sabrina's mom's Expedition. We'll go to the beach beforehand and have orderves & "champaigne". Heh. It will end up costing like...$20 rather than $700. We'll get a limo next year.

I'm in denial of the fact that I'm almost a senior. It's sort of scary.

Thu, 06 Apr 2006 22:35:51 GMT

Chris is the smart one. Soon after Price's loss, a fight broke out.

Someday they will make excellent daddies.

Chris & Price are so wonderful to be with. Today was one of the happiest days I've had in some time.

I met up with Chris at Coffee Depot before everyone else got there. He is just amazing. I can't even begin to describe him. Naomi hung out with Matt at Zingg, so we went over there too to check out some old records. Then Naomi went home. We later met up with Sabrina & Price, and went to Coffee Depot again, where Chris & Price battled it out playing chess. Chris kicked Price's ass...by a mile. Then we went up to Salvation Army, and the boys were picking out dresses for themselves. Teehee. So cute. And when we went back down to Sabrina's house, they were so great with the kids. <3 <3

Sabrina & I can't wait for prom. We're going to start looking for a limo for the four of us. I can't wait. I can't wait.

*giggle*

Thu, 30 Mar 2006 23:59:45 GMT

Miss Mandy had a date today, and it makes her feel all happy on the inside.

It's a Barrington boy. He's probably going to call into work and say he's dead so that he can come to battle of the bands with me. He's a cute kid.

It was a lovely afternoon with the girls...and boys...as are most Thursdays. Coffee Depot, Zingg, Imagine, & the BK Lounge. We didn't have time for Salvation army...or the money...but we'll return to that next week.

Now I have rehersal soon.

<3

Colleges.

Sun, 26 Mar 2006 14:22:15 GMT

And so, I've begun to think about College.

I've decided that's I'm either going to RIC or Keene State College in New Hampshire. Chances are, I'll go to RIC for two years and then transfer.

I really wanted to go to Roger Williams or URI, but they don't have special education as a major. Grr.

Now I just need to keep my grades up.

Fri, 17 Mar 2006 03:00:38 GMT

My rehersal scedule is insane, but I love it.

Guys & Dolls is coming along wonderfully.

Much Ado needs uber work. The past few rehersals for it have been quite...energyless. And actorless. I hate the fact that I show up to every rehersal, and there's some people who could give a shit. If you don't give a shit about your acting, don't fucking take the class. Simple as that.

Guys & Dolls though...I've missed....maybe...2 rehersals? One was blocking and one was vocal. I feel as though I have enough of a brain to catch on quickly, unlike most people. I missed those rehersals for pretty good reasons too. One day I was totally mentally unstable after Heather & I almost died, and the other I had to babysit my siblings (which I couldn't get out of).

I'm glad that Schlink & Boyle are starting that excuse slip program. Maybe we'll get people out of these plays that don't belong there.

I'm beginning to look for some auditions on my own...to like...try and be independent and stuff. Who knows. I may be just what a director is looking for somewhere.

I wish I worked harder at my grades, because dude, Brown has a fucking awesome theatre program (which there's no way in hell I'm getting into). My mom says I should try and apply anyway. Maybe my SAT scores will be good?

Blah blah blah.

Wed, 22 Feb 2006 23:26:43 GMT

I finally got my hair cut. I'll have pix up on myspace tomarrow.